Well, firstly, many apologies – I had no idea that it has been nearly a month since I felt the need to empty my brain onto the keyboard and screen.

Tomorrow is Chemo No.4 and I have to admit that I am filled with a little trepidation as to what will happen as I am moving from ‘FEC’ to the ‘TH’ stage of proceedings. Just as I acclimatise to the side effects of one cocktail of drugs, it’s all change.

Now for the science bit – Fluorouracil, Epirubicin, Cyclophosphamide have finished their 3 cycles. Now Docetaxel (otherwise known as Taxotere, hence the ‘T’), Herceptin and an extra one called Pertuzumab take over to do their stuff – pretty exciting really as we’ve reached the business end of treatment now.  The H and P are the ones which are targeting the HER2 gene which is making such a particular nuisance of itself.

Panicked a little on Thursday when the consultant took my super strength anti-sickness tablets away from me with a jolly little, “You won’t be needing these anymore” comment. She has reassured me that sickness is VERY rare with the new drugs, heaven help her if she’s wrong… That’s being replaced with severe flu-like symptoms from day 3-7 (a tad on the precise side methinks, best get prepared from that one as until now its always be a bit more general with various loopholes and personal variations), aching joints, fatigue, flaky/falling off nails, etc, etc.  Those are the main ones anyway.  To be honest, I’ll be happy if the dizziness, sore eyes and runny nose stops.

Lets cheer ourselves up with a few Silver Lining Moments:

• Priorities – having cancer really sorts these out. The last two weeks have been heaven, totally orientated to Joe and having fun.  Completely took advantage of my ‘Good’ two weeks.  Sod housework, cleaning the car, filling up the bank account – that can all wait.
• Skin – I’ve been having the most effective facial peel every three weeks – thanks chemo, you can send the bill later! OK, so this is aided by four days of super itchy, sore and red skin towards the end of each cycle, but then the itching stops, top layer of skin flakes off and ta dah! lovely new shiny face emerges – maybe if it continues it will erode away the wrinkles as well.
• Bowels – constipation has been a real pain.  Anyone who has spent any time with me which has involved walking and bending over slightly will have realised this (sorry to some of my nearest and dearest who will have experienced this very gracefully, or with great amusement!). Joe has now admitted defeat in the battle-of-the-farts.  I am reigning supreme. What is the silver lining bit here you say? Well, the TH section we are moving onto apparently will take my inner workings the other way – therefore, I am assuming I will ‘break even’ and am hoping the breaking wind will subside.

So, what else has gone on over the last four weeks?

Chemo No.3 went as planned on Monday 24th July – followed by two days of slight nausea, six days of slightly under the weather and total eyeball disconnect again.

Day 3 had 47th birthday. Perfect day of relaxing in amongst the dizzy spells and providing great amusement for ‘Ickle Sis Ali and Joe as they gave me a new haircut.  Then drank half a glass of prosecco with the family, very happy as Papa made it up to ours in the evening.

Day 8 snapped out of yukky, dizzy Chemo Brain as suddenly as before.

Day 9 drove to Kent with Joe and Winston to see BFF Sarah and family, drank prosecco properly (yippee yey!), walked dogs and lay around like a lazy toad while Sarah took over – love her to bits ♥

Day 12 drove home

Day 13 unpacking, washing, repacking

Day 14 went camping with friends for two nights in South Wales. The sun dances worked and we had perfect weather in our own little sunny micro climate, perfect sunsets, perfect coastline, perfect marshmallows and fire-pits, perfect company and this time even ventured into the realms of wine and beer – thank you ladies and boys for again letting me have my moments of downtime ♥ (Glad you enjoyed the charades so much C-A and L… 😉 )

Day 18 canned the booze in preparation for next weeks cycle, I’ve found it really helps if my body is only working on expelling one poison at a time.  I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that I shouldn’t be drinking at all as it gives you cancer. Apparently I shouldn’t be drinking tea or eating chocolate either – yeah, right… I’ll do some more reading before I make a definitive decision on my new diet regime.

Papa update – he is slowly building strength and completed three weeks of daily radiotherapy last Friday (enjoyed ringing ‘the bell’ and getting a cheer from all staff and everyone in the waiting room to signal the end of his course of radiotherapy!).  Doesn’t seem to have knocked him too much right now except for more fatigue. He now has to let it do it’s stuff over the next two weeks and then will have a review with the Haematology team at Southmead to see if it’s been successful on his stubborn lump which is still drifting about the 6.9cm size.  Go Papa! Very proud of you as you are blazing the trail for me and kindly giving me the heads up on what is to come – Forewarned is forearmed.

Gaggy update – love you so much. Just don’t know how you are staying so chipper with two grumpy-arse hypochondriacs in the family.

Joe update – my little star. Love you to the moon and back. Such a brave, loving, sensible, mature, pragmatic boy. I am the luckiest Mummy alive. No tears, just laughter and cuddles. BIG hugs darling.  ♥♥

Ickle and Big Sisters – Couldn’t do this without you both, really needing and loving your VERY broad shoulders and gardening/cooking skills.  Hope you have had fun with your “Joe” time over the Summer holidays. He has adored his time with you. xx

Finally, you’ll be pleased to hear that Joe and I have managed to hit the target of walking 4 plus miles nearly everyday this week.  We even snuck in a cheeky 5.3 miles one day in the second week.  Been eating like a horse and weight is back up by 4lbs. Feeling on top of things and up to full strength.

Come on then Chemo No.4 – NOW I’m ready for you!

xx